· 26 ·

     Rudy Nobles had the same keen face as his brother. He looked a couple of years older than Ray; he drove. Before we left he asked me why I was going to Lanao, and I told him I was trying to find a woman. After that none of us had much to say, but as we turned off the coast highway he did tell me: “If we run into the army, show those papers. If it's the NPA, try to hide the papers. Tell them it's because of a girl, it will make sense. Otherwise it doesn't make sense. And tell them, ‘I am not an enemy of the people.' That helps.”

     “Just to say it? Anyone could say it.”

     “A true enemy of the people would never say it. It would choke him.”

     Except in the towns and the roadside settlements, though, we didn't see anyone. Once we were in the hills I had to pay attention so that we didn't miss the turn to Lanao. There had been rain here. Puddles sat in the road's depressions, and the air was soupy. We drove up the spur and parked, and once more I wound and poked my way among the huts, the clay sticky on the soles of my shoes.

     The hut was dark. I knocked and spoke my name, and hers. Through the sheer fabric I watched the lamp glow float across the room. A hand pulled the curtain aside. An old woman's hand.

     “I want Vangie,” I said.

     “Vangie is no here.” She said it with pity. For me. The last time anyone looked at me with pity, I was bleeding on the floor.

     “Where is she? I want to talk to her.”

     “Wait,” she said. She drew me inside and went out. I