MARIE L. STALLBAUM
(Photo by Annie Dobb)
People With MS and the Courage to Give
Chapter 11: Anything is Possible
IF WE BELIEVE IN OURSELVES and our ability to live well, if we have the determination and perseverance to achieve our personal goals, anything is possible. Yes, multiple sclerosis is an unpredictable disease...,but that’s life.
To say I led an active life before multiple sclerosis would be an understatement. At age three I was placed in ballet, tap, jazz, acrobatics, and swimming and diving classes. When I was nine, my parents decided they couldn’t continue to drive my two brothers and me all over the Chicagoland area for our extracurricular activities so we all had to choose the one we liked best. I decided to specialize in gymnastics.
Several years later, just a week before a state meet, I sustained a left knee injury, which required total knee reconstruction. The doctors said I would never be able to do gymnastics again. I didn’t listen. With sheer determination, I rehabilitated my knee and eventually earned a gymnastic scholarship to the University of Wisconsin in Madison. Just before entering the NCAA scene, I had to have surgery on my right knee. Then, after competing in the NCAA for two years, I sustained a right arm fracture, which required surgical intervention. At that point my gymnastic career came to an end.
Little did I know that these experiences were simply teaching me the perseverance and determination I would so dearly need to deal with MS.
I focused on my nursing studies and became a neonatal intensive care nurse.
I enjoyed the NICU so much that I eventually went into management. The job came with a lot of responsibilities, and I typically put in twelve-hour days. Then I’d go do my workouts.
In June 1994, I started getting headaches, dizziness, double vision, and fatigue. Because I was having new eyeglasses made at the time, I attributed the symptoms to eyestrain. I figured I was just tired and that if I just found time to rest, the symptoms would subside. Even as a healthcare professional, I ignored all the signs and symptoms that something was seriously wrong. I had the glasses remade four times, but the symptoms lasted all summer. My doctor diagnosed migraine headaches.
Months later, the symptoms still persisting, I consulted an ophthalmologist, and he sent me to a neuro-opthalmologist who diagnosed me with MS. I barely even knew what those initials stood for given that my specialty was with infants, but I knew it was a disease that had no cure. I was scared and confused and had no idea how much grieving I’d have to do. I figured I was going to end up in a wheelchair in just a couple of weeks. For me, a person whose life happiness depended upon fitness, this was a death sentence.
The neuro-opthalmologist tried to keep me cheered. He told me to “just keep living your life as you always do” and to come back in two weeks. So that’s what I did. I made my follow-up appointment then headed straight to the gym to work out my frustrations. I worked out as if nothing had changed—pumping weights, running, sweating, determined to show my body the diagnosis was a huge mistake. But working out was futile. I left the gym feeling weak and overwhelmingly fatigued.
Then someone suggested I get a second opinion. In November 1994, I saw a second neurologist. After evaluating my test results he said he could not officially diagnosis me with MS. Of course I was just in remission, but at the time I didn’t
know that. I just felt this huge relief. I told myself I didn’t have MS and never would.
A few months later, my symptoms reappeared, along with complete vision loss in my left eye. That’s when I was officially diagnosed with MS. I was hospitalized immediately and put on steroid therapy.
The first question I asked my neurologist was, “I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I exercise, I try to eat right, why me?” He explained that this disease does not discriminate. Apparently not. But soon enough I recovered my eyesight and my symptoms started to go away. I was still in the hospital, so I found a stationary bike on the unit and the medical staff allowed me to ride for twenty minutes . . . max. I was also able to do push-ups and sit-ups in my hospital room with discretion.
Once again, I was determined to beat this thing! I committed to eating a totally clean diet, training more intensely, and doing more cardio, but the results were the same. Every time I worked out I’d be down for three days due to the overwhelming fatigue. It took several setbacks but eventually I learned that I couldn’t force my body to be well. I had to listen to it, take responsibility for learning about the disease process, maintain a kind of physical balance that would inspire me to better myself, and just continually search for ways to nurture my spirit and my soul.
In 2001, I decided to compete in fitness at the Las Vegas Bodybuilding, Figure and Fitness Classic. I vowed to get into shape, but this time I would do it the smart way. During training I listened to my body and respected its limits. I just did the best I could. It felt great to be doing what I loved.
All the hard work paid off, because I became the Las Vegas Open Fitness champion! Standing onstage receiving that first place trophy, I knew without a doubt that anything is possible, regardless of life’s adversities. Here are some general fitness pointers for anyone looking to relieve MS symptoms:
- Always start by getting an evaluation by a health care professional and learning about the effects of MS on your body.
- Under the supervision of your health care professional, formulate an exercise plan. Living with MS may redefine what exercise is to you. Just take a deep breath, relax, and remain flexible about the different exercise options that might be best for you. Work together to come up with various modalities that will fit into your lifestyle, whether it is working with a physical therapist to incorporate movement from a sitting position, or hydrotherapy, yoga, Pilates, NIA, or training for a fitness competition.
- Learn some relaxation techniques. Breathing exercises, relaxation CDs/tapes, stretching techniques, massage, or even reading a book can all be great for relaxing your body and mind. Breathing techniques in particular can help circulate oxygen throughout your system and assist you in achieving a relaxed state.
- Stretch. Good stretching exercises will allow you to increase overall flexibility, which will help with agile movements such as getting out of bed; moving to and from your wheelchair; improved balance with a walker; or when incorporated in a weight training regimen, preventing injuries, building strength, and avoiding muscle soreness.
- Find a nutritional balance that works best in your lifestyle. Educate yourself in eating a balance of nutrients in moderation. Your body requires carbohydrates, proteins, and fats to run efficiently. Do not deprive yourself of your favorites; instead, learn to have proportionate servings, i.e., have a piece of cake, not the whole cake. Dr. George Blackburn, associate director of nutrition at Harvard Medical School, states, “It’s not what you do for eight days, it’s what you do for eight years.” A nutritionally sound foundation will improve your overall
demeanor and will assist your therapies to work efficaciously. The human body is a phenomenal machine. A great analogy I like to share is if you owned a Lamborghini, you would not fuel it with low-grade gasoline. Your system deserves first-rate nutrients to run at the top of its game. Health is our wealth. Our bodies are our temples. No one can take that away from us.
- Listen to your body and treat it with respect. Fatigue—deep, deep fatigue—is a common symptom in MS. MS fatigue is difficult to put in words, but what I experience can best be called “train wreck” fatigue. I often experience fatigue after a long day at work, but when “train wreck” fatigue sets in, I know not to push the envelope. It can be incredibly frustrating, but it’s not worth expending energy you don’t have with frustration. If you are experiencing fatigue it is very important to determine the underlying cause—i.e., depression, overwork, sleep disorders, stress, or other medical conditions. Only once the underlying issues are identified can they be effectively treated.
- And finally, always be cognizant, even in this area of your life, that it’s a learning process.
Listen to others, share and learn from them. Share your experiences with them, too. We have to believe in ourselves and our ability to live well. If we do, and if we have the determination and perseverance to achieve our personal goals, anything is possible.
For more information, contact Marie at fit4ms@hotmail.com.
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