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Second Acts that Change Lives

Making a Difference in the World

by Mary Beth Sammons (more about this book and author)

Chapter 9: Become a Little Engine that Could
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Develop that “I think I can” attitude.

Nobody is born with courage. You have to develop courage the same way you do a muscle.

— Maya Angelou

Being a second act reinventor can take you out of a quiet life of desperation and shine the spotlight on you, with lots of people watching from the sidelines to see where you are headed. The good news is that by the time you’ve arrived at midlife you’ve probably developed a thicker skin. What people think about you  —  and say publicly  —  doesn’t matter quite as much as it did when you were in your twenties.

Good, because the cries of naysayers will ring loudly. Your best bet is to admit your fear, invest your energy in moving forward (and not defending or deflecting their negative comments), and prepare for what lies ahead.
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In this chapter, we focus on individuals who have located the inner strength to shake off criticism and the advice of well-meant but cautious others. A second act reinventor’s mantra is, “I think I can, I think I can,” even when they are climbing up the side of a steep mountain. What differentiates second act reinventors from those who sit out their second act is that the reinventors always stay focused on the view from top of the mountain and the essential question: Whose life is it anyway?

From Public Relations Guru to Photographer

The upshot of letting go was capturing “the most successful chapter of my career.”

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Karyn Millet was a highly successful PR guru and globe-trotter, but something meaningful was missing from her life. Today she captures hearts and souls with her camera lens.

Karyn R. Millet, 42, Santa Monica, California

Act I: Publishing and public relations executive.

Act II: Photographer.
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New Script

Karyn worked in the fast-paced world of public relations, getting her clients in front of the camera. But she dreamed about getting behind the camera herself. She made a plan and set a goal: “To become a magazine photographer. It found me and happened very naturally.”

Life before the Leap

As a Los Angeles public relations guru, Karyn stood behind the camera crew for fourteen years, staging, styling, and orchestrating photo shoots for clients. Much of her time was spent jet-setting the globe from Jamaica to Ireland, hustling luxury hotel properties.

The Epiphany of Change

Not a bad gig for most. But one day Karyn says, “I just hit the wall. I had to get out of what I was doing  —  fast.

“I finally decided it was time to get behind the camera and capture the image I always wanted,” says Karyn. She quit with no idea what to do next and headed to her father’s birthplace  —  Guatemala. Her father had died, and Karyn decided to use his ending to launch a new beginning for herself. There, she picked up a camera and learned Spanish. A month later, she came back to the sand and surf of her childhood, California, and enrolled in photography classes, became familiar with the camera, and launched her new career. She began selling photos she had taken in Guatemala. The vibrant colors, elaborate design motifs, and engaging architecture of the country’s
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villages helped her focus on subject matter that continues to play a reoccurring theme in the images she captures.

“If something wants to be photographed, I shoot it,” says Karyn. Having an academic background in interior design and decorative arts prior to her PR career, Karyn reached back to combine her design talent with her new dream. “While fellow photo students were focusing on trendy fashion shoots along train tracks, I was shooting living rooms and loving it,” says Karyn.

Karyn took five lessons, and started saying “yes” to opportunities presented to her rather than waiting until she completed all the photography courses. “I sort of shot from the hip and learned as I worked,” she says. “I happily immersed myself in photography.”

The Liftoff

Without purposefully knowing so, Karyn followed the promptings of the early 1900s philosopher William James: “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”

Early on, she put together a solo show at a Los Angeles art gallery, which turned into a smashing debut performance: 150 people attended. She created and mailed out note cards with her photography, put up a Web site, and created promotional materials. “Most important, I followed up on every opportunity presented to me to maximize exposure. Rather than sit and ponder options, I dove headfirst into the deep end and tried to not look back.”

Quickly her subject matter expanded to destinations near and far. From California beaches to Central America and
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Europe, suddenly Karyn Millet photographs were popping up on the pages of home, garden, and travel & lifestyle magazines. “I think the secret was not overthinking things and just striving to do the best I could at each task each day. The next thing I knew, I had a national magazine cover,” she says.

Inspired by Mentors

Karyn was inspired by two photographers she had hired frequently when she was in public relations. They were eager to help her, believed in her, and mentored her entry into the photography industry. They continue to be a source of encouragement. “I admire them a great deal. Honestly, it was others believing in me and giving me the confidence to forge ahead. This is something to remember and pass along to others when you see them about to hit their stride.”

Another motivator is getting great pictures from each shoot. “To be able to capture a moment, to hold it and share it with others, is such a joy,” says Karyn. “Also, having two magazine covers and one book cover last year (my second year shooting professionally) was beyond my wildest dreams.”

For Karyn, her transformation and ability to let go and pursue her passion for photography is propelled by her faith. Each day she prayed, and continues to pray, “Let me decrease as you increase,” meaning that she wanted to push her own will aside to let God’s will take over. “When you realize you have the power of the Almighty behind you, it gives you the confidence to go beyond what you thought you were capable of.”
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The View from the Other Side

Today her clients include O at Home, California Homes, Sunset, Traditional Home, and more.

“I have been able to assemble a team and together we have conquered some pretty big shoots, and the camaraderie is contagious,” she says. “Because of me taking big steps, it’s helped others financially and professionally too, and that is very satisfying. I strive to help others in the same way my mentors were generous with their time and talents for me.

“I don’t push a shot, but rather constantly have an eye out for the right light on an intriguing, poignant or subtle subject. With all the beauty that God gives each day, it is a welcome challenge to create a photograph that can hold the moment,” she adds.

“I have been enjoying the most successful chapter in my career doing something I love,” she says. “It can happen!”

Words to Inspire

“Lean on and trust in God. I encourage people to act upon the voices of those around you who encourage you, and keep taking steps forward each and every day,” says Karyn.

Going Long

Two endurance athletes champion a buddy who lost his life to ALS in the summer of 2007.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

— Mohandas Gandhi
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Often in life, it is the ability to pause and note those special moments in the blur of life that change us forever. Here, two jocks and training buddies were stopped in their tracks by the plight of another athlete, a guy who in the prime of his life had met his biggest opponent: ALS. They jumped in with all their grit and determination to help a guy who was once a stranger and now a friend. In doing so, they spawned a movement in the triathlete community that continues to spread like wildfire.

Meet John Wolski and Bob Mitera  —  change agents who said someone has to do something, and they did. They rallied to get thousands of others motivated and inspired to do something good within their athletic communities and way beyond.

John Wolski, 42, and Bob Mitera, 39 Palatine, Illinois, and Port Barrington, Illinois

Act I: Senior Environmental Scientist; Project leader for Allstate Insurance Company; In the process of getting his MBA at Notre Dame.

Act II: ALS activists and fund-raisers.

New Script

It’s a story that began on the menacing lava fields of Kona, Hawaii, and recently played out for the third straight year in the sweaty corridors of the Buehler YMCA in Palatine, Illinois.
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The heroes are three guys: John Wolski and Bob Mitera  —  buddies who train together for Ironman races  —  and Jon Blais, 35, a fellow endurance athlete from San Diego. Blais “Blazeman” had won the hearts of millions in 2005 when he became the first patient with Lou Gehrig’s disease to literally roll across the finish line of the Ironman Triathlon World Championship in Hawaii.

Life before the Leap

John and Bob know all about battling cold, choppy waters, pounding the pavement, and beating howling headwinds to separate themselves from the pack. It’s brutal. Both were avid cyclists, runners, and swimmers, who got hooked on the challenge of triathlons, especially the thrill of the ultimate triathlon  —  the Ironman.

In October 2005, Jon, who later earned the title “The ALS Warrior Poet,” completed the grueling Ironman course in Kona, Hawaii, in 16 hours and 28 minutes.

The Epiphany of Change

They collectively challenged the merciless killer ALS, when “Blazeman” lost his battle with ALS and died at age thirty-five.

In the last several years of his life, despite his diagnosis, Jon continued to train. A year before his death, he crossed the finish line of the Kona Ironman.

His battle through the lava fields of Hawaii fresh in his mind, and no longer able to compete himself, Blazeman
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began assembling an army of multisport athletes for the War on ALS, organized to help end this disease. Those athletes, known as Team Blazeman Warriors, compete in multisport events around the world to raise awareness of ALS and valuable funds for research. The proceeds go to organizations dedicated to wiping out ALS and to individuals with ALS who are in need of financial assistance.

John and Bob are two of those warriors. Bob was in Kona coaching and working as a volunteer at the 2005 Ironman and was inspired after seeing Jon Blais cross the finish line and meeting Jon and his parents, Maryann and Bob.

Standing on the Edge

Blais’s courage and indomitable spirit celebrate the triathletes’ desire to win, but it also ignited a different breed of competitor in John and Bob. Bob says, “When I returned from Kona, my friend John and I were talking on a training run and the entire effort started to develop from there. When I found out that there is no cure for ALS, that the prognosis is the same as it was for Lou Gehrig  —  death  —  that just was unacceptable,” says Bob. “We just said we have to do something to help this guy.”

John adds, “He could have been any one of us. If your community doesn’t help you, who will?”

What unfolds next is a story of endurance athletes across the globe rallying to make a difference in and on behalf of the lives of the nearly 20 million people who have died from ALS in the past twenty years.
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The Liftoff

John and Bob set up their first event with a small group in the lobby of the Buehler YMCA in Palatine. The first year, 2006, there were four cyclists spinning for 16.5 hours. In 2007, dozens of cyclists kept fifteen bikes spinning for 10 straight hours. Year three, on February 9, 2008, nearly two hundred people kept all twenty bikes spinning for a total of 10 hours, raising more than $5,000 to support an ALS cure. A similar global event took place on March 1, 2008, as others from seventeen sites around the world gathered in health clubs, shopping malls, sporting goods stores, and home gyms.

The View from the Other Side

Today, what John and Bob started in 2005 by gathering a few training buddies has grown into a national event. Jon Blais flew out to meet his champions and friends in Illinois the first year the event was held. Last year, support rolled in from 17 sites nationwide.

Bob adds, “As Jon Blais said, the best part about this is we aren’t Lance Armstrong with Nike behind us. We are just three hacks. Three regular guys and look what we’ve started.”

Words to Inspire

“My dream is ongoing  —  it is to make each day the best it can possibly be for as many people as possible,” says John. “I have always been someone who wants to see change where it is needed. Obviously, with no cure or treatment for ALS whatsoever, the need for action was obvious. And I’ve always
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been inspired by people who go beyond their comfort zone to be passionate about living life. It is rarer these days for people to really follow their passion  —  it seems as if people think there are just too many hurdles to overcome. I have to. That is the way I am wired. I cannot simply do nothing when there is a need in the community.”

Making a Difference Every Day

 We’re not born with courage, and by midlife, if we haven’t developed it as a mainstay, it’s a constant test to muster the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter when we risk stepping out of the comfortable.

Tips from John Wolski and Bob Mitera

• Start small. Fix something up.
• Look around your school or your community and reach out to help someone who needs a little of your love.
• Pick your project and figure out what you need to make it work.
• Enlist friends for help.
• Spread your enthusiasm and help others see that you see a lot of potential just waiting to be discovered.

So, how do we develop an “I think I can” attitude? How do we fight to the end to give birth to our newly reinvented

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selves? We have to be committed. We have to stay on course and never give up. Here are tips on doing just that:

1. Hang on tightly to enthusiasm. Believing in what we want to do and why it is important in the world makes it happen.

2. Dodge the blows. Setbacks, unexpected events, and other interruptions often occur when we are in pursuit of our dreams. Cope with the difficulties, rest, reenergize, and jump back into the battle.

3. Go beyond your limits. Stretch yourself. Act as if your new life has begun in order to convince yourself that it is possible.

4. Be committed. Find ways to keep reaffirming your commitment.

5. Let go and trust the mystery and the magic. As author Paulo Coelho says, “God always offers us a second chance in life.”

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